Category: Uncategorized

A solitary man appears depressed.

What Is Complex PTSD?

In order to understand Complex PTSD, let’s first talk about PTSD or Post- Traumatic Stress Disorder, which you have probably heard of.

Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder PTSD is a mental illness or disorder caused or triggered by some kind of shocking or terrifying event. The disorder is often seen in veterans, in those who have survived natural disasters, and those who have witnessed some kind of brutal event.

Worldwide, the incidence of PTSD is estimated to be about 3.9% of the general population (Koenen, 2017). The current Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-5) calls it Posttraumatic Stress Disorder. The DSM-5 is an important go-to reference publication that helps mental health professionals diagnose and treat illness.… Read the rest

Intimacy between two adults.

EMPTY Intimacy: About More than Sex

If you hear the word intimacy, most people have an instant association with sex–that if you’re talking about intimacy, then you’re talking about sex. But that’s not the case. Intimacy and sex and two different things.

Intimacy is described by Mariana Bockarova, Ph.D., as something that has seven elements. Those seven elements include things like care, trust, and commitment.

Basically, intimacy is an emotional closeness, an emotional connection, in which each person cares for and is committed to both that connection and the happiness of the other person.

Sex is, well, sex. It’s a physical connection, a physical act. Emotional closeness is not required to for humans to have sex.… Read the rest

Authenticity is keeping it real.

The Authenticity Debate

“Authenticity” is an overused and often-debated term these days. We are told to be authentic at work to achieve sales and success, authentic on social media to acquire a big following and authentic everywhere else as well

So, the question arises, what exactly is authenticity?

Well, it depends on who you ask. The psychologist, Brene Brown, says, “the core of authenticity is the courage to be imperfect, vulnerable, and to set boundaries.” Dr. Brown made that point in reference to an article written by another psychologist, Adam Grant. Dr. Brown felt her position on authenticity had not been inaccurately represented.Read the rest

Choice Moments – Building Trust with a simple decision

Our lives are full of meaningful moments of choice

Moments that you get to decide which direction you want your life to move to. You can choose the easy way or a more challenging route. Those times when you can turn towards someone and create a better connection and trust or turn away and stay safe.

You know those times that you’re tempted to text ‘I’m sorry’ because it’s easier instead of calling the person or facing them instead.

A simple moment but a powerful statement of who you want to be.

Choice Moments Make a Difference

In your relationships or with a friend or family member, there are many times they’ll make a request or statement.… Read the rest

grounding technique

Who would you be without your story of Not Enough?

Not smart enough, loved enough, loving enough, pretty enough, rich enough, successful enough, popular enough… any one of these can stick in your mind like a thorn or virus that works behind the scenes. Even if the thought is expressed openly it still seems to hide in the dark like a lurking thief ready to steal any joy or pride that you might feel in moments.

For example, you’re looking at your partner, love feeling that warm glow of connection then… BAM… the thought springs out of the dark, deep recesses of your mind… “What if they don’t love me the same?” That one thought can set off a chain reaction of feelings and behaviour that don’t necessarily bring you closer to getting that love you’re wanting to experience.… Read the rest

Unconditional Love – Fear vs. Love – Is it part of your Relationship? For Parents, Friends and Partners

The 1st of a 6 part blog on Unconditional Love

The writer’s focus is on Unconditional Love in the Parent child relationship but these questions and statements can apply to all our relationships.

Our ideas of what’s loving when looked at closely are really fear in disguise.

How often in an intimate relationship have you felt responsible to ‘fix’ your partners bad mood? Or have you felt guilty because you’ve made a mistake and your friends angry with you? These are all examples of Conditional Love for ourselves and for others.

Read on to start to understand what Unconditionally Loving means.… Read the rest

Meet your Goals with 2 quick tips - Liz Coleman-Surrey Counsellor

Choose Again – Lift the Veil of Label-ism

From Choose Again daily quote:

Reflections?

 

“Each flies with its own kind: pigeon with pigeon, hawk with hawk.” ~ Idries Shaw

Is the ‘pigeon’, perhaps, merely a reflection of who I think I am? The saying “If you want to fly with the eagles do not walk with the turkeys” teaches a similar lesson. I might suggest I could see it somewhat differently: if I see the Eagle in everyone I meet and not buy into the turkey appearance they may present, then I would, by my choosing, fly with the Eagles regardless of who appears to be flying with me.

Read the rest
Relationship Reality vs Fairy Tale Fantasy

Relationships …. Blissful or Maddening?

Relationship Reality vs the Fairy Tale Fantasy

“One day your prince will come” and other Fairy tales we were taught growing up.

Maybe you believed them, maybe you still do or maybe you don’t. But it’s what the movies and advertising are continuing to teach. “You are not enough if you’re not beautiful and with someone successful or successful and with someone beautiful.” But don’t worry there’s someone out there who will save you.

Ha! No there isn’t. Sorry I know that’s tough to hear.

Yes I’ve grown jaded of those sentiments. AND at the same time I harbour hopes and romantic dreams.… Read the rest

Love in Lights - Photo by Nadine Shaabana on Unsplash

Boost your Feelings Vocabulary with This List

Feelings and the corresponding words are something that most of us weren’t taught, or taught well, growing up. In fact, they may never have been taught well and so what’s been passed down the generations are simple words for complex feelings or worse… no words at all.

It’s a simple language that can only benefit your ability to communicate with others as well as understand yourself and the ebb and flow of emotions inside.

Here’s a list of some feelings words but certainly not all. Read them over and see which you relate to, which you are drawn to and which make you want to jump to the next word.… Read the rest

The Rules to Living

The Hidden Life Rules

In society there are hidden life rules or conditions accepted as normal, ‘the way life is’.

Words and phrases such as “boys don’t cry” or “the early bird gets the worm” are shared throughout the world without most of us questioning whether or not they are true or helpful. More importantly we don’t consider how they actually show up in our life. These hidden rules of living can be very helpful but they can also be self defeating and get in the way of your happiness.

The question is… which ones serve you and which do not?

The rules of life we learned in childhood drive our current behaviors.… Read the rest

A solitary man appears depressed.

What Is Complex PTSD?

<p>In order to understand Complex PTSD, let’s first talk about PTSD or Post- Traumatic Stress Disorder, which you have …

Intimacy between two adults.

EMPTY Intimacy: About More than Sex

<div id="pl-gb2328-5deab97e29808" class="panel-layout"><div id="pg-gb2328-5deab97e29808-0" class="panel-grid panel-no-style"><div …

Authenticity is keeping it real.

The Authenticity Debate

<p><span data-preserver-spaces="true">“Authenticity” is an overused and often-debated term these days. We are told to …