Category: Relationship

Real Connection in Communication – 5 steps

Connection in communicationBeing real in your communication invites connection. That often requires some vulnerability and that’s not something we feel comfortable doing with just anyone. It is important to make connections through communication. In this post we will give you resources for how to make connections and communicate more efficiently.

Human connection is vital to feeling free and alive. Yet, for most people, we’ve been taught a more righteous form of communication that has you needing to prove your point to be right.

Communication is about exchanging views for the benefit of all parts, people that feels heard is willing to hear, and in that exchange you find real connection.… Read the rest

Choice Moments – Building Trust with a simple decision

Our lives are full of meaningful moments of choice

Moments that you get to decide which direction you want your life to move to. You can choose the easy way or a more challenging route. Those times when you can turn towards someone and create a better connection and trust or turn away and stay safe.

You know those times that you’re tempted to text ‘I’m sorry’ because it’s easier instead of calling the person or facing them instead.

A simple moment but a powerful statement of who you want to be.

Choice Moments Make a Difference

In your relationships or with a friend or family member, there are many times they’ll make a request or statement.… Read the rest

Image by Alec Kondush- Love and Fear -Burning Man Sculpture

Bored in Your Relationship? Maybe you’re not Feeling Safe

Boredom isn’t a lack of things to do but an unwillingness to do things we fear.

Especially in relationships. Intimate relationships, friendships, co-workers and family all can fall into the rut that’s too easy and stale. Bringing on the boredom.

‘Just spice it up’ is the usual recommendation. And in some cases doing something different will bring a new experience but it’s not always the answer and can create more problems.

Because the problem isn’t variety but….SAFETY.

Neil Statin of Relationship Alive – The New Love Paradigm talks more about that.

“If you don’t feel safe in your relationship, then you will have a hard time being fully in your relationship.

Read the rest

Unconditional Love – What is it? For Parents, Friends and Partners – Part 2

Part 2 of the Unconditional Love Blog by Choose Again

For loving healthy relationships and happy homes get clearer about when love is unconditional and when it’s need.

Hint: Unconditional Love isn’t obligation, tolerating bad behaviour or bargaining.

Unconditional love sounds like:

  • “I don’t need you to shield me from pain or discomfort. I need to learn from mistakes to grow.”
  • “You don’t need to take care of my emotions I’m learning to do that myself.”
  • “Loving you means not doing everything for you at my expense. Or vice versa.”
  • “I don’t need to tolerate abuse, neglect or other deal breakers to love you unconditionally.”
  • “Please just hear me and accept me, I don’t need you to fix me.”
Read the rest

Unconditional Love – Fear vs. Love – Is it part of your Relationship? For Parents, Friends and Partners

The 1st of a 6 part blog on Unconditional Love

The writer’s focus is on Unconditional Love in the Parent child relationship but these questions and statements can apply to all our relationships.

Our ideas of what’s loving when looked at closely are really fear in disguise.

How often in an intimate relationship have you felt responsible to ‘fix’ your partners bad mood? Or have you felt guilty because you’ve made a mistake and your friends angry with you? These are all examples of Conditional Love for ourselves and for others.

Read on to start to understand what Unconditionally Loving means.… Read the rest

Controlling Your Emotions

How to Control Emotions: Taming Your Inner Beast

Have you ever wondered how to control your emotions or tame your inner beast?

By that I mean the emotions that explode or creep up on you from out of nowhere. It could be anger, resentment, sadness or other feelings. Even love can feel out of control and scary at times. The important thing to know is Controlling emotions isn’t about pretending they’re not there. Often people say ‘let it go’ or ‘distract yourself’ in order to deal with overwhelming emotions.

A better first step is to, simply, name the emotion. But that is easier said than done 

 

The language of emotions is harder than you might think.    

Read the rest
Happy couple looking out at the water

Relationships: Hard Work or Adventure?

Successful relationships are a Work in Progress

Has your relationship become stale or filled with constant conflict? It’s probably because it’s stopped growing.

Do you even look at your partner anymore? Or if you do is it only when you’re mad? Relationships stop growing when we think we know everything there is to know about ourselves and our partner. If you’re feeling bored, lonely or frustrated in your relationship then it’s an indication that growth and progress has stopped.

Let’s change the word ‘work’ to Adventure and Curiousity.

The truth is, you don’t know everything about yourself, so how could you know everything about your partner.… Read the rest

Love in Lights - Photo by Nadine Shaabana on Unsplash

BEING IN LOVE – Luck or bravery? Explore Fear and Love in Relationship

Love is such a difficult, almost impossible thing to define.

Is it just something that some couples are lucky enough to have?

Glennon Doyle Melton comes to this question herself and defines it beautifully in her book ‘Love Warrior: a Memoir’

Is love, not a feeling, but a place between 2 present people? A sacred place created when 2 people decide it’s safe enough to let their real selves surface and touch each other. Is that why it’s called ‘in’ love.. because you have to visit there? And was I unable to grasp it because I was trying to understand it with my hovering mind and love can’t be known that way?

Read the rest
Relationship Stress. Communication and Anger Management

Thinking of leaving your relationship? Read this…

Relationship stress is hard

But that daily relationship stress is nothing compared to the pain and changes you’ll go through with divorce or separation. It’s a misinterpretation to think divorce is easy judging by the rising rates. You’d think it’s as simple as finding the best recycling for an old car stereo or laptop. No!! It’s not!! Not for a lot of people.

Where did we get the idea that relationships are disposable?

So if you’re thinking of leaving your relationship or marriage this article will help.
Learning about all the pain, changes and, thankfully, eventual growth that you can go through with divorce and separation will leave you better prepared to take that step.… Read the rest

Liz Coleman RTC Couples Therapy

Reconnect with Your Partner- An Exercise

THE 15 MINUTE EXERCISE

15 minutes?..Yes that’s all you’ll need to reconnect with your partner again.

And what happens when you feel connected? Your anxiety and stress goes down, you sleep better, work better and feel happy. What’s there to lose?

The exercise is simple but, like anything that requires open expression, it’s uncomfortable at first. Not to worry, you’ll soon reap the rewards and feel more relaxed.

This is a great exercise to use on its own as well as between counselling sessions, it speeds up progress.

Click the link below to find out more

The-15-Minute-Exercise.pdf

The time spent with your partner is sacred.… Read the rest

Authenticity is keeping it real.

The Authenticity Debate

<p>“Authenticity” is an overused and often-debated term these days. We are told to be authentic at work to achieve power …

Explosive Anger

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Real Connection in Communication – 5 steps

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