Category: Emotions

Isolation and Mental Health

At this time staying home (in isolation) to help prevent the spread of the coronavirus is an act of safety, solidarity and kindness.

But no longer having interactions with the people we did before and changes to work and routine can be especially hard to deal with. Then, add in the health precautions and uncertainty, and a lot of feelings can come up. These are complex emotions, but there are helpful strategies for coping and moving through this period of time.

Some of the feelings you may experience are:

  • Fear/anxiety
  • Anger
  • Difficulty sleeping
  • Feeling more depressed
  • Frustration
  • Sadness
  • Helplessness

7 Tips for Coping Well While Staying Home During COVID-19

  1. Stay in the present moment…..
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Explosive Anger

Have you ever exploded with anger?

An anger that seemed inappropriate to the moment?  Like an explosion that surprises everyone around you including yourself…

It might be a dramatic episode or a brief flash of anger such as:

  • road rage
  • physical or verbal aggression
  • throwing and breaking objects
  • an old fashioned temper tantrum
  • refusing to be kind or forgive someone
  • a critical judgment of someone

No matter how it manifests itself, the explosive anger leaves you feeling a combination of guilty, inadequate, sad, tired, hopeless and out of control.

You’re not alone… here’s a helpful hint to lessen and eventually avoid those moments.… Read the rest

Angry? Feeling Disrespected or Not Considered? – Gain clarity with a shift in perspective

Why you’re stuck and keep sabotaging yourself…

Why do I keep self- sabotaging my life?

Anger management and anxiety counselling aren’t just about changing behaviour, it’s about finding the deeper cause. The root that’s keeping you stuck, angry, frustrated, anxious and unhappy. But when shifted makes life easier, less reactive and brings calm.

What is that deeper cause?…. A Negative Core Belief

This Negative Core Belief runs like a program or pattern that keeps bringing the same old results. And those critical thoughts about yourself and others that crop up are connected to that Negative Core Belief.

WHAT IS A NEGATIVE CORE BELIEF?… Read the rest

Is the New Positivity Trend making us More Negative?

Be Positive; the new moral compass

The growing trend that says positivity is the right way may be the very thing that is creating anger and frustration. Which are the so-called ‘negative emotions’ that it says to avoid.

Of course being positive is… well… positive but it can also be a mask or cover to hide the underlying feelings.

My favorite way to explain this (sorry if this bothers you) being positive can be like putting icing on a shit cake. If you’re feeling ‘shitty’ inside but you decide you should feel happy or positive what happens to the ‘shitty’ feelings?… Read the rest

Controlling Your Emotions

How to Control Emotions: Taming Your Inner Beast

Have you ever wondered how to control your emotions or tame your inner beast?

By that I mean the emotions that explode or creep up on you from out of nowhere. It could be anger, resentment, sadness or other feelings. Even love can feel out of control and scary at times. The important thing to know is Controlling emotions isn’t about pretending they’re not there. Often people say ‘let it go’ or ‘distract yourself’ in order to deal with overwhelming emotions.

A better first step is to, simply, name the emotion. But that is easier said than done 

 

The language of emotions is harder than you might think.    

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Image Bruce Lee who exemplifies Practice to make Perfect. Use that idea to make Practice become Happiness.

How to make happiness a practice and not about perfection

As Bruce Lee is quoted to say “I don’t fear the man that has practiced 10,000 kicks. I fear the man that has practiced 1 kick 10, 000 times”  

Well so it is with your relationships and in your personal life. How do we do anything well? We practice. This seems easy to believe when it’s an instrument or golf swing but what about if we’re wanting more Peace and Happiness? Does it apply? … Yes it does. 

Realistically you can say you’ve already been practicing some behaviours everyday. It’s our automatic, learned responses. If happiness isn’t a problem in your life leave well enough alone but if not then you could say you’ve been practicing the ‘wrong’ things. … Read the rest

Help! I can’t stop my Bad Habits

When Eating, Drinking and other behaviours become Bad Habits

Sometimes the normal, healthy behaviours we engage in every day become out of control default behaviours, creating problems such as stress and anxiety. Unhealthy habits can be sneaky, starting with an innocent ‘reward’ for having a bad day and leading to becoming the ‘go to’ in an attempt to make yourself feel better. When this happens you can feel powerless to stop it.

Bad Habits and Inner Demons

Common Bad Habits:

  • Eating too much, or not at all
  • Watching TV or movies
  • Checking Facebook, email or surfing
  • Alcohol, smoking or drugs/medication
  • Ranting to friends, gossiping
  • Shopping
  • Work, Exercise, Sleep, Sex

In some cases, daily behaviours become default behaviours and bad habits that you use as a way to cope and distract yourself from feeling the underlying stress and anxiety.… Read the rest

Get Rid of Negative People?

We’ve all heard someone say. .I need to get away from negative people. You may have said it yourself and I know I’d said it in my pre-counselling life. ‘In order for me to thrive and be happy I need to stay away from certain people’.

The hidden miracle and truth that’s hiding in plain sight is… It’s more about you than it is about them.

If you’re often taking other people’s views or behaviors personally? this topic is for you. If you’re often disappointed with other’s ability to follow through or be relied on? This topic is for you.… Read the rest

Anger Management and Communication in Relationship with Liz Coleman RTC

Change Your View of Fighting in Relationships

Fighting and conflict in relationships can feel horrible.

So it’s not surprising that most couples feel like it’s a set back to their progress. It’s such a common way of looking at it because, really, it seems to shake the stability and safety we rely on. Even though ‘needs’ seem to be a bad word in our society the truth is we NEED our relationships. (I mean all relationships here but especially intimate ones)

Interdependence

Our confidence and safety in the world depends on the stability of our relationships not in a dependent way but an interdependent way. It’s possible to love and be close to someone without giving parts of yourself away.… Read the rest

Your Goal of Happiness Starts Now

Moving from FEAR to Excitement

The Fear of failure can stop you in all areas of your life. Career, dating, exercising and connections with family, partners and friends.

Fear is a powerful emotion that controls our behaviour regardless of what you say you want – It can make you Hide, Shake, Freeze or Scream.

What are we so afraid of? The 5 Basic Fears

  • The Fear of Death or Ceasing to Exist
  • The Fear of Mutilation – physical pain or needles
  • The Loss of Autonomy- emotionally smothering in a relationship or feeling claustrophobic
  • The Fear of Separation – rejection, abandonment and loss of connection
  • The Fear of Ego Death – loss of Identity like a job, humiliation and shame

Our fears are either basic survival values or learned reflexes from memories of past traumas.… Read the rest

Do Your Inner Thoughts Often Sound Judgemental and Critical?

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tools to calm anxiety

Two Tools to Calm Anxiety

<p style="margin: 0cm; margin-bottom: .0001pt;"><span style="color: #0e101a;">The following are two simple tools you can …