Blog | Tips and Tools

Dozens of articles. Take steps to feeling better Today!

Calm Anxiety And Boost Confidence with Body Language

Have you been looking in the wrong places to calm anxiety and boost confidence? You’re not alone.

Our feelings and thoughts are constantly being communicated whether we’re aware of it or not because most of what we’re saying is expressed through our body language not just our words.

Your body speaks, mainly, in these ways.

1) Internally through emotions and feelings.

2)Externally to the world through your body language and postures.

3)Outwardly through spoken words.

Out of those, 80% of what others are receiving is through our body language. That’s a lot!! Only a small portion is words and tone of voice, the rest is appearance, movements, gestures and facial expressions.… Read the rest

Anxiety and Depression: Is Medication the Answer?

Taking medication for anxiety and depression seems to be the accepted treatment but in my experience and my client’s the side effects can be as bad or worse. So often the overall physical and mental health of the person isn’t even considered before recommending medication.

My experience of being put on Paxil when I was younger was it did make me feel happier after a couple of weeks but I took myself off them right away. It just wasn’t a ‘normal’ happy and I didn’t like being chemically altered. I felt it had done it’s job and I didn’t need them.… Read the rest

Let go of the thoughts and stories that are holding you back

Get Out of Your Way! – Self Limiting Beliefs

Recognizing Self Limiting Beliefs

I can be impatient when I drive. It’s not something I like to admit but there it is. I’m often thinking or saying “get out of my way”! But if I’ve only learned one thing in the last decade of becoming and being a counsellor it’s that I’m the one in my way. If I want to be happy this is what I recognize in each moment.

That brings me to Self Limiting Beliefs, also known as, Non-Supportive Stories or as I learned them, Suspicions of Self.

Recognizing your own limiting beliefs takes awareness, paying attention to your thoughts.… Read the rest

Get Rid of Negative People?

We’ve all heard someone say. .I need to get away from negative people. You may have said it yourself and I know I’d said it in my pre-counselling life. ‘In order for me to thrive and be happy I need to stay away from certain people’.

The hidden miracle and truth that’s hiding in plain sight is… It’s more about you than it is about them.

If you’re often taking other people’s views or behaviors personally? this topic is for you. If you’re often disappointed with other’s ability to follow through or be relied on? This topic is for you.… Read the rest

Don’t let Tradition Ruin your Holiday Cheer

Now don’t get me wrong I LOVE traditions. They are comforting and a beautiful connection to the people of the past as well as the present.

But things start to turn bad when traditions go from how I… GET.. to celebrate with others to how I.. HAVE… to meet expectations. AAAH!

Don’t let this happen to you!

How you ask?

By staying in the present. I know you hear that all the time but here’s how it can make a big difference to your holiday celebrations.

Like with all the things we do in our life picking up the kids, working, driving or even running for the bus it’s our choice of how we want to think of it or what we make it mean about us.… Read the rest

Anger Management and Communication in Relationship with Liz Coleman RTC

Change Your View of Fighting in Relationships

Fighting and conflict in relationships can feel horrible.

So it’s not surprising that most couples feel like it’s a set back to their progress. It’s such a common way of looking at it because, really, it seems to shake the stability and safety we rely on. Even though ‘needs’ seem to be a bad word in our society the truth is we NEED our relationships. (I mean all relationships here but especially intimate ones)

Interdependence

Our confidence and safety in the world depends on the stability of our relationships not in a dependent way but an interdependent way. It’s possible to love and be close to someone without giving parts of yourself away.… Read the rest

The Truth about Addiction

All of us are addicted in some way .. whether it’s work, wine, sex, cigarettes, drugs, relationship, internet, tv or shopping. Our smart phones have become the latest addiction. We pick them up whenever we get a second of down time. Yet the action in itself isn’t the problem. Anything can become an addiction because it’s not the behaviour but why we’re doing it.

Why? Addiction, no matter what it is, is a way to self soothe. It’s a symptom of the ache, guilt, anxiety or emptiness we don’t want to feel so we push it away. For the moment at least.… Read the rest

Are You On Track to Meet Your Goals?

We often hear ‘stay on track with your goal’ or ‘Don’t stray from your goal’ but how do you discern whether you’re on track or not?

Here’s 2 quick steps to help you out.

Step 1: Understand Your Values.

Your values are what determine the direction or goal.

What’s most important to you in life? Family? Love? Honesty? Authenticity? Health? Peace? Giving? Faith? Growth? Responsibility? Loyalty? Trust? Expressiveness? Freedom? Reliability? Teamwork? Financial Independence? Grace? Gratitude? Fun? Happiness? Balance? Harmony? Curiosity? Integrity? Self Awareness? Joy? Mindfulness? Openness? Patience? Respect? Spirituality? Timeliness? Tradition? etc…

In some aspects of your life your values may change but having a few values that are constant throughout is key to success.… Read the rest

Your Goal of Happiness Starts Now

Moving from FEAR to Excitement

The Fear of failure can stop you in all areas of your life. Career, dating, exercising and connections with family, partners and friends.

Fear is a powerful emotion that controls our behaviour regardless of what you say you want – It can make you Hide, Shake, Freeze or Scream.

What are we so afraid of? The 5 Basic Fears

  • The Fear of Death or Ceasing to Exist
  • The Fear of Mutilation – physical pain or needles
  • The Loss of Autonomy- emotionally smothering in a relationship or feeling claustrophobic
  • The Fear of Separation – rejection, abandonment and loss of connection
  • The Fear of Ego Death – loss of Identity like a job, humiliation and shame

Our fears are either basic survival values or learned reflexes from memories of past traumas.… Read the rest

Express Emotions Responsibly

What good are our emotions anyway.. do we really need them?

Emotions feel out of control
Use emotions with control to feel happier

Do you wish you could get rid of your emotions?

It does seem as if life would be easier without emotions sometimes. They make life messy and out of control when often we prefer tidy and controlled.

Of course it’s not that simple…. Getting rid of ‘negative’ emotions means giving up the ‘positive’ aspects as well.. they’re connected. You know how close laughing and crying can be?… it’s a very fine line. One second you’re laughing and the next you’re crying or better yet the other way around. It’s how we’re wired. You can’t have one without the other.… Read the rest

Relationships …. Blissful or Maddening?

<p>working draft</p> <p> </p> <p>“One day your prince will come” and other Fairy tales we were taught growing …

Express yourself… ! counter passive agressive behavior

<h2>working draft</h2> <h2></h2> <h2>http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/taking-back-your-life-from-narcissistic-family-upbringing-1129164</h2> <h2>You …

Is the New Positivity Trend making us More Negative?

<h1>Be Positive; the new moral compass</h1> <p>The growing trend that says positivity is the right way may be the very thing …