Blog | Tips and Tools

Dozens of articles to gain a new Perspective for your Mental Health and Happiness

Unconditional Love – What is it? For Parents, Friends and Partners – Part 2

Part 2 of the Unconditional Love Blog by Choose Again

For loving healthy relationships and happy homes get clearer about when love is unconditional and when it’s need.

Hint: Unconditional Love isn’t obligation, tolerating bad behaviour or bargaining.

Unconditional love sounds like:

  • “I don’t need you to shield me from pain or discomfort. I need to learn from mistakes to grow.”
  • “You don’t need to take care of my emotions I’m learning to do that myself.”
  • “Loving you means not doing everything for you at my expense. Or vice versa.”
  • “I don’t need to tolerate abuse, neglect or other deal breakers to love you unconditionally.”
  • “Please just hear me and accept me, I don’t need you to fix me.”
Read the rest

Unconditional Love – Fear vs. Love – Is it part of your Relationship? For Parents, Friends and Partners

The 1st of a 6 part blog on Unconditional Love

The writer’s focus is on Unconditional Love in the Parent child relationship but these questions and statements can apply to all our relationships.

Our ideas of what’s loving when looked at closely are really fear in disguise.

How often in an intimate relationship have you felt responsible to ‘fix’ your partners bad mood? Or have you felt guilty because you’ve made a mistake and your friends angry with you? These are all examples of Conditional Love for ourselves and for others.

Read on to start to understand what Unconditionally Loving means.… Read the rest

Meet your Goals with 2 quick tips - Liz Coleman-Surrey Counsellor

Choose Again – Lift the Veil of Label-ism

From Choose Again daily quote:

Reflections?

 

“Each flies with its own kind: pigeon with pigeon, hawk with hawk.” ~ Idries Shaw

Is the ‘pigeon’, perhaps, merely a reflection of who I think I am? The saying “If you want to fly with the eagles do not walk with the turkeys” teaches a similar lesson. I might suggest I could see it somewhat differently: if I see the Eagle in everyone I meet and not buy into the turkey appearance they may present, then I would, by my choosing, fly with the Eagles regardless of who appears to be flying with me.

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8 Stress Free Scents with Essential Oils

Aromatherapy for Stress and anxiety

Aromatherapy is one of the most pleasant ways to calm ourselves and feel better. It’s quick, fast and easy because our sense of smell triggers powerful physical and emotional responses.

Inhaling Essential oils for Stress

When an essential oil is inhaled your body responds by regulating heart rate, breathing patterns and blood pressure. Since chronic stress can suppress the immune system over time it’s beneficial to practice daily calming techniques and Essential oils is a pleasant option.

Use in your bath or shower, as a direct inhalation, hot water vapor, vaporizer or humidifier, fan, spray or with a diffuser.… Read the rest

Relationship Reality vs Fairy Tale Fantasy

Relationships …. Blissful or Maddening?

Relationship Reality vs the Fairy Tale Fantasy

“One day your prince will come” and other Fairy tales we were taught growing up.

Maybe you believed them, maybe you still do or maybe you don’t. But it’s what the movies and advertising are continuing to teach. “You are not enough if you’re not beautiful and with someone successful or successful and with someone beautiful.” But don’t worry there’s someone out there who will save you.

Ha! No there isn’t. Sorry I know that’s tough to hear.

Yes I’ve grown jaded of those sentiments. AND at the same time I harbour hopes and romantic dreams.… Read the rest

Is the New Positivity Trend making us More Negative?

Be Positive; the new moral compass

The growing trend that says positivity is the right way may be the very thing that is creating anger and frustration. Which are the so-called ‘negative emotions’ that it says to avoid.

Of course being positive is… well… positive but it can also be a mask or cover to hide the underlying feelings.

My favorite way to explain this (sorry if this bothers you) being positive can be like putting icing on a shit cake. If you’re feeling ‘shitty’ inside but you decide you should feel happy or positive what happens to the ‘shitty’ feelings?… Read the rest

S.A.D., Seasonal Affected Disorder

Is it SAD or the Winter Blues?

Have you been feeling sad lately? Having issues with sleep? Waking up tired? And generally feeling ‘blah’?

This could be common symptoms that many experience in the fall and winter seasons in varying degrees. Or it could be the more intense depression of SAD (Seasonal Affective Disorder) the emotional and physical changes that come on with the darker seasons. These are gradual for most but if you’re suffering from SAD the changes will be obvious and more extreme.

What is SAD?

SAD is a cyclical depressive period during the fall and winter seasons attributed to the lack of light.

The sooner you can recognize this is not just mood changes but could also be a health problem the better chance you have of helping yourself or someone else. … Read the rest

Love in Lights - Photo by Nadine Shaabana on Unsplash

Boost your Feelings Vocabulary with This List

Feelings and the corresponding words are something that most of us weren’t taught, or taught well, growing up. In fact, they may never have been taught well and so what’s been passed down the generations are simple words for complex feelings or worse… no words at all.

It’s a simple language that can only benefit your ability to communicate with others as well as understand yourself and the ebb and flow of emotions inside.

Here’s a list of some feelings words but certainly not all. Read them over and see which you relate to, which you are drawn to and which make you want to jump to the next word.… Read the rest

Forget your GOALS and RESOLUTIONS this year…. 

What have you got to lose?… most people don’t continue past January anyway. Why put yourself through that and feel worse in the end because you feel you’ve failed? That feeling of failure can be worse than staying ‘un-changed’. Shame and Guilt weighs you down. But confidence lifts you up.

So let’s go for gaining confidence this year.

Are you with me?

Almost all of us think of making changes in January for the coming year. But making those changes stick isn’t as simple as buying a new work out machine, gym membership, Nicorette or new marketing plan. True change requires more than that.… Read the rest

Controlling Your Emotions

How to Control Emotions: Taming Your Inner Beast

Have you ever wondered how to control your emotions or tame your inner beast?

By that I mean the emotions that explode or creep up on you from out of nowhere. It could be anger, resentment, sadness or other feelings. Even love can feel out of control and scary at times. The important thing to know is Controlling emotions isn’t about pretending they’re not there. Often people say ‘let it go’ or ‘distract yourself’ in order to deal with overwhelming emotions.

A better first step is to, simply, name the emotion. But that is easier said than done 

 

The language of emotions is harder than you might think.    

Read the rest

Unconditional Love – What is it? For Parents, Friends and Partners – Part 2

<p>Part 2 of the Unconditional Love Blog by Choose Again</p> <p><strong>For loving healthy relationships and happy homes</strong> …

Unconditional Love – Fear vs. Love – Is it part of your Relationship? For Parents, Friends and Partners

<h3>The 1st of a 6 part blog on Unconditional Love</h3> <p>The writer’s focus is on Unconditional Love in the Parent …

Meet your Goals with 2 quick tips - Liz Coleman-Surrey Counsellor

Choose Again – Lift the Veil of Label-ism

<h4>From <a href="https://www.choose-again.com/" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Choose Again</a> daily quote:</h4> <table …