Blog | Tips and Tools

Dozens of articles to gain a new Perspective for your Mental Health and Happiness

Do Your Inner Thoughts Often Sound Judgemental and Critical?

If you find yourself in self-judgement and shame, such as thinking “I’m not good enough,” you’re not alone. It’s a Universal experience.

 

Did you know that when you judge yourself, when you shame yourself, you shut down the Learning Center in your brain?  The result is that you stop learning new ideas and seeing possibilities. You become stuck.

 

Self-love and kind attention are the antidote. I get it, self-love brings up a variety of responses in people from a welcomed relief, and a reminder to there’s no such thing, and it’s just selfish thinking. Studies have shown that self-criticism, shaming, and blaming is experienced as anxiety and can bring on depression.… Read the rest

When Someone Asks “How are You” & You Say, “I’m Fine,” Are You Really?

This week is Mental Health Week in Canada. And how timely given the challenging times of this global pandemic. The overarching message for the year is the importance of social connection on mental health. A message that’s difficult to heed when we’re trying to protect ourselves and others by physical distancing.

So the Canadian Mental Health Association’s campaign is for everyone to “#GetReal about how we feel and lean on each other for support, even if it has to be from afar.

So often we’re used to covering how we’re feeling with the words ‘I’m fine.’ When we do that, we’re choosing not to share our truth, and so preventing opportunities for real social connections and missing out on meaningful connections.… Read the rest

tools to calm anxiety

Two Tools to Calm Anxiety

The following are two simple tools you can use anywhere to calm anxiety.

1. A Simple Meditation

Count 30 breaths backwards. Meditation doesn’t have to be complicated. Focusing on your breathing is a mindful way to calm down. Counting backwards gives your mind a simple task to focus on, distracting you from spiraling thoughts. Meanwhile the extra oxygen adds to calming your anxiety.

After 10 breaths, you will start to notice where you’re tense or holding your body and can then consciously relax that part of your body. As you go, you’ll notice even subtler tension and relaxation.

By the 15th breath, you will notice your breathing getting slower, deeper, and stretched out, allowing more oxygen into your body.Read the rest

PART 1: A Global Pandemic & Self Isolation Present Us with New Fears & Gifts Too

The Gifts

For everyone’s physical health, STAYING HOME is the new normal for many people right now. And if you’re among the many, essential service workers, I give you acknowledgement and thank you for your bravery.

There’s no doubt it is a challenging time, and we’re facing a massive changing situation the world has never seen before on this scale. Unprecedented is hardly an adequate description for it. But it is a shared experience and because of that I see an opportunity. I’m not the first to say it.

“In every crisis lies an opportunity”

–Albert Einstein

We are in the space between the old way of being and the possibility of new.

Read the rest

PART 2: A Global Pandemic & Self Isolation Present Us with New Fears & Gifts Too

The Fears

When fearful thoughts (pandemic fears) come up do you react in a destructive manner, or a way that you later regret?

Let’s consider better ways to respond that you can feel good about. For example, rather than turning away to avoid the issue that’s creating fear, or panicking and losing perspective, you can practice breathing and grounding yourself to remain present or authentic, (i.e. more who you really are than who your fears are telling you to be).

From a calm place, you’ll make choices that lead you towards being empowered or transformed. To do this takes moving forward – through the fearful thoughts.

Read the rest

Isolation and Mental Health

At this time staying home (in isolation) to help prevent the spread of the coronavirus is an act of safety, solidarity and kindness.

But no longer having interactions with the people we did before and changes to work and routine can be especially hard to deal with. Then, add in the health precautions and uncertainty, and a lot of feelings can come up. These are complex emotions, but there are helpful strategies for coping and moving through this period of time.

Some of the feelings you may experience are:

  • Fear/anxiety
  • Anger
  • Difficulty sleeping
  • Feeling more depressed
  • Frustration
  • Sadness
  • Helplessness

7 Tips for Coping Well While Staying Home During COVID-19

  1. Stay in the present moment…..
Read the rest
A solitary man appears depressed.

What Is Complex PTSD?

In order to understand Complex PTSD, let’s first talk about PTSD or Post- Traumatic Stress Disorder, which you have probably heard of.

Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder PTSD is a mental illness or disorder caused or triggered by some kind of shocking or terrifying event. The disorder is often seen in veterans, in those who have survived natural disasters, and those who have witnessed some kind of brutal event.

Worldwide, the incidence of PTSD is estimated to be about 3.9% of the general population (Koenen, 2017). The current Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-5) calls it Posttraumatic Stress Disorder. The DSM-5 is an important go-to reference publication that helps mental health professionals diagnose and treat illness.… Read the rest

Intimacy between two adults.

EMPTY Intimacy: About More than Sex


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If you hear the word intimacy, most people have an instant association with sex–that if you’re talking about intimacy, then you’re talking about sex. But that’s not the case. Intimacy and sex and two different things.

Intimacy is described by Mariana Bockarova, Ph.D., as something that has seven elements. Those seven elements include things like care, trust, and commitment.

Basically, intimacy is an emotional closeness, an emotional connection, in which each person cares for and is committed to both that connection and the happiness of the other person.

Sex is, well, sex.… Read the rest

Authenticity is keeping it real.

The Authenticity Debate

“Authenticity” is an overused and often-debated term these days. We are told to be authentic at work to achieve sales and success, authentic on social media to acquire a big following and authentic everywhere else as well

So, the question arises, what exactly is authenticity?

Well, it depends on who you ask. The psychologist, Brene Brown, says, “the core of authenticity is the courage to be imperfect, vulnerable, and to set boundaries.” Dr. Brown made that point in reference to an article written by another psychologist, Adam Grant. Dr. Brown felt her position on authenticity had not been inaccurately represented.Read the rest

Explosive Anger

Have you ever exploded with anger?

An anger that seemed inappropriate to the moment?  Like an explosion that surprises everyone around you including yourself…

It might be a dramatic episode or a brief flash of anger such as:

  • road rage
  • physical or verbal aggression
  • throwing and breaking objects
  • an old fashioned temper tantrum
  • refusing to be kind or forgive someone
  • a critical judgment of someone

No matter how it manifests itself, the explosive anger leaves you feeling a combination of guilty, inadequate, sad, tired, hopeless and out of control.

You’re not alone… here’s a helpful hint to lessen and eventually avoid those moments.… Read the rest

Do Your Inner Thoughts Often Sound Judgemental and Critical?

<p>If you find yourself in self-judgement and shame, such as thinking “I’m not good enough,” you’re not …

When Someone Asks “How are You” & You Say, “I’m Fine,” Are You Really?

<p>This week is <a href="http://www.mentalhealthweek.ca">Mental Health Week in Canada</a>. And how timely given the challenging …

tools to calm anxiety

Two Tools to Calm Anxiety

<p style="margin: 0cm; margin-bottom: .0001pt;"><span style="color: #0e101a;">The following are two simple tools you can …