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Express Emotions Responsibly

What good are our emotions anyway.. do we really need them?

Emotions feel out of control
Use emotions with control to feel happier

Do you wish you could get rid of your emotions?

It does seem as if life would be easier without emotions sometimes. They make life messy and out of control when often we prefer tidy and controlled.

Of course it’s not that simple…. Getting rid of ‘negative’ emotions means giving up the ‘positive’ aspects as well.. they’re connected. You know how close laughing and crying can be?… it’s a very fine line. One second you’re laughing and the next you’re crying or better yet the other way around. It’s how we’re wired. You can’t have one without the other.

If you’re interested in finding out about the body’s reaction to emotions the late Candace Pert did a lot of research and wrote a book The Molecules of Emotions. Candacepert.com Her research is also featured in the movie ‘What the Bleep Do we Know’

Are you willing to give up your joy and passion to get rid of anger and sadness?

A lot of times in my clients first sessions they apologize for crying and I can see them trying to ‘compose’ themselves and hold back the tears. It looks so difficult. There’s nothing wrong with crying. It’s a release of pressure like laughing can be and it’s a connection to a deeper sense of yourself. From there we can explore how they control themselves and they gain awareness of conscious or sub conscious beliefs they have about emotional expression. It’s a good start.

It’s not about getting rid of emotions but expressing them responsibly

Letting our emotions release brings a sense of relief and hope. Like revealing a secret we didn’t know we were holding onto for a long time. Because the other option is expending a lot of energy to control them and hold them in. (people wonder why they’re so tired) It can feel a bit scary as if they’ll never stop because if you’ve held tears in for so long the pressure has built up like a water toy being held under water. If you hold it under lightly it just bobs up to the surface when you let it go. No big deal. If you push it down deeper and keep pushing it explodes out of the water when you let it go. ERUPTION. Just like emotions. And usually not at appropriate times.

The urge to distract and hide emotions

Where do you think your emotions go when you push them away? It seems like they disappear for the moment but they don’t. And then you experience those moments when you’re overreacting to a situation. Or maybe you find you’re upsetting the people close to you because your anger is leaking out indirectly as passive aggressive behaviour. The common belief there is that expressing anger is bad and so you project your anger onto others. You can read more about that here.

 

So yes we really need our emotions, we couldn’t get rid of them if we wanted to although we still try. They are our bodies signals to us that something important is going on and it needs some attention. So show yourself some self compassion because opening to and sitting with your emotions can unravel to reveal love. A love for yourself and others. A love that’s been mistakenly obscured by fear.

Call or email me to find out more or to book a session.

The Use and Misuse of Power | Psychology Today

We rightfully admire and love authorities–parents, teachers, bosses, political leaders–who hold their rank and use the power that comes with it in an exemplary way. Accepting their leadership entails no loss of self-respect or opportunity on the part of subordinates. It is when people abuse their power to demean or disadvantage those they outrank that seeds of indignity are sown.”

Link

Healthy Communication for Couples - Surrey Counsellor

Is Your Communication Helping or Hurting you?

Conflict Resolution for Healthy Communication

Whether you are a boss speaking to your employees, a daughter to her mom, or friend to friend, the dynamics of communication are either working or not. Good or bad, your ability to communicate effectively touches all areas of your life.

Unhealthy communication can leave you:

  • Lacking close friendships
  • Feeling like no one really knows you
  • Distant or cut-off with family members
  • Passive or withdrawn
  • Experiencing out-of-control emotions or rebellious behaviour
  • Experiencing conflict and unhealthy anger
  • Needing approval from others
  • Blaming or gossiping
  • Seeing others as lesser than yourself or better than yourself
  • Experiencing indecision, frustration & resentment
  • Depressed

CONNECTION TO SELF = CONNECTION TO OTHERS

If you are not feeling connected to yourself, how could others feel connected to you?

Changing your mind will change your life but until you’ve experienced it it will seem impossible.

All the values you have learned through your family and culture interpret how you experience events and information. Unbelievably, about 70% of all communication is non-verbal. Beyond what your words are saying, much of what you are thinking is being communicated, often without you being aware.

Thankfully, as you become more aware of what your values are, you can make intentional changes and, not only does your inner world improve but your outer world and how others relate to you will change too.

There are very practical tools to build this awareness of how you are communicating and relating to others.

Once you learn how to shift your focus to yourself and rely on your own inner guidance, other people disagreeing with you will no longer bother you and you will be able to make clear, calm decisions.

Your peace of mind and confidence will help ground you and provide a stable, safe and satisfying feeling in your life while the people around you will experience a sense of freedom to be themselves.

If not just for yourself, give the gift of clearer, heartfelt, and more functional communication to those around you. What an amazing tool to teach your children!

Contact www.thespacesbetweencounselling.com for more info and a free consultati

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